i would say something like "if anyone said they knew how trying my day was, it'd be a lie."

but then i realised that its not entirely true.

so i would say something like "if anyone said that they could really feel the way i felt today, it'd be a lie."

today, i realised both sides of human nature. the ugly, and the beautiful. what they really say is true. the outside really doesnt truly reflect who you are on the inside. you might be old and wrinkly on the outside, but have the kindest and most willing of hearts. you might be young and decent looking and fully able-bodied, but inside youre just unwilling to get your hands dirty to help because you think there are other things in your life that are more important.

hey bryan and francis, thankyou so very much for coming down today to help me. as friends. i wouldnt know what i would do without you guys. i know yall probably think really badly of everything now, and its really all my fault. i know the planning was really crappy, and i really didnt anticipate it. i should have asked more people to come down, i should have searched harder and longer. but hey guys, you dont know how much you encouraged me by simply being there and moving everything without a word of complain or a single whine. thankyou so much for doing it all so cheerfully and somehow making me happier too. im really glad that you two decided to come down. it really reminded me of the hillary days that we shared. when come hell or high water, we just stuck through it all, through the crappy terrain, food, obstacles, issues and everything else. you two are perhaps the two guy friends ive made. i dont think i can thank you enough.

who says friendship doesnt have a price? it does. it means sacrificing your free time to help a friend.

thankyou again guys, for being there for me when it really seemed like everything was a catastrophe. you have no idea how much your presence comforted me and kept me from thinking alot of other stuff then. i really dont think i can thank you enough. i really felt like the whole world had just ditched me or sth. but having the two of you there just made things seem alot better, and that there was hope in the world.

i think i now know who my bestest friends are. i think ive learnt how to distinguish between these people and other people. and i know that i want to keep these friends for the rest of my life.

dont think you'll read this hongen, but i havent forgotten you. even though you arrived back in singapore late last night, thankyou for making the effort to come all the way down to boonlay today to help with logistics. you know you didnt have to. i just want to let you know that you really made a difference in everything today. i think we would be shifting bottles until 11pm if not for you. i know you had to go for your family dinner, and that you were already late. i know i told you that you could go after you finished two more trips, but you ended up staying all the way to the end. thankyou (: thankyou for your sacrifice.

to the old grandpa at boonlay who helped us non-stop from 430 to 8pm: i thank you. i thank you for working tirelessly and helping us to transport the boxes. i know one of these boxes werent light at all, about 8.5kg per box. yet you never stopped to take a break even though it was raining, and you had to walk a short distance in the rain to take the boxes. thankyou for continuously bending down to pick up these heavy boxes from the floor. thankyou for walking up and down the stairs at least a few hundred times to help us shift the 833 boxes of NEWater. i think what you did really inspired me to push on through this countdown, and to make it the best that i can make it for the residents of boon lay, for people like you. i will never forget your act of kindness and selflessness. no matter how many times we asked you to stop and rest, you refused to. you never muttered a single word of complain and would smile everytime we thanked you. i dont think i can ever thank you enough for what you have done. you gave so much more than the young people that were standing around watching us, and youve taught me so much even though you might not know it. without you, we might have been shifting boxes around until about 11 too.

i only wish i could give you so much more than 2 bottles of NEWater.

isnt it amazing? how sometimes the most precious of acts can never be repaid through tangible things? no matter how hard you try, they simply are never enough. i dont know, but i think until youre personally in this situation, you'll never understand how indebt and grateful you are to these people. simply listening to the story as a bystander just doesnt cut it. so you say that youve done something like that before, and yes, its hard. but its a different context. do the people you help really need the help youre providing? or are you just doing that to earn something tangible for yourself. its different being on the receiving end of this and on the giving end of this. some people can never hope to understand this.

ive learnt to be grateful. and to appreciate the things that people do for me that i can never repay. i do think that whatever i do will never be enough to repay them back for what they have done to me. i thank God for friends like these who stick by me thick and thin, and i will do as i see fit. regardless of whether the world agrees or not. because i think thats the right thing to do.

"do unto others what you want others to do unto you."

how apt. it sucks to be abandoned in the most crucial time.

my new year's resolution:
1. not to abandon my friends in the most crucial time when they need help




im feeling kind of dried and shrivelled up right now. haha.